Total Pageviews

Another Stewart Family Memory

This is one of my favorite stories to tell, because it involves humiliation that wasn't at my expense.

We were at the verdun manor haunted themepark: Dad, some chick he was seeing, Johnboy, and me. Now, John has always had it in his head that he was god's gift to women, but that's a different story. There was a hot little goth chick working the front door of verdun manor, and john decided to try and put the mack on her. As is usually the case, she was only mildly interested at best, but he played it up by detailing all the dirty things he was going to do to her.

We were walking around the park trying to figure out what we were going to do next, when he saw her. She was sitting at a picnic table enjoying her smoke break. You could actually see the gears in his head grinding as he plotted his move. He stood there for a moment before finally deciding to walk over to her. He had the swagger that i swear he practices in the mirror along with the smile he always claims to be sexy. I never had the heart to tell him that he just looks like he's passing gas.

The distance between them was getting smaller and smaller, until he was about seven feet away. He opened his mouth to spit out some tired line, just as my dad came up behind them. He placed his hands on john's shoulder and said to the goth chick...

"Hi, this is John. He REALLY likes you." He paused so that the words could sink in, added "You kids have fun." Then he just left John standing there with his mouth agape. He then lowered his head, and walked away in shame.

That, ladies and gentlemen, was the greatest cock block ever in the history of cock blockery. Unless you include the time i inadvertantly got Dunsy in taco bell, but that's for another time.

No comments:

Post a Comment