An Inscrutable Conversation

CC, author of An Inscrutable Voyeur, just messaged me and it was one of the strangest conversations I've ever had.

CC: Can we talk?

Me: Sure. What's up?

CC: You said you've dealt with the supernatural. What happened to you?

Me: Well...bumps, voices, levitating objects, feelings of dread, attacks and molestations by things I can only describe as demons, an encounter with beings not of this world, multiple physical manifestations and a visit to hell. Though I'm not sure if that last one was genuine or the result of me taking two medicine cabinets worth of pills.

CC: Jesus, what the fuck is wrong with you?

Me: Was there a point to you messaging me or did you just want to be a judgmental prick?

CC: Oh, yeah. You know how some weird shit's been happening to me lately? It's gotten worse.

Me: How so?

CC: Well, about two hours ago I found another package. The words, "Watch ME", are written over it in black marker.

Me: Shit. Did you catch something on the surveillance tape?

CC: Yeah. I think I'm going crazy.

Me: What did you see?

CC: One moment there was nothing, then .02 seconds of static. Then it's just there. Nothing could move fast enough to put it there without being seen.

Me: I don't know what to say. Is there something wrong with the camera?

CC: There's nothing wrong with the fucking camera, okay? Something is happening to me and I don't know what to do.

Me: I think you need to watch it.

CC: Fuck that.

Me: Look, whatever is doing this isn't going to stop until it gets what it wants. The more you try to fight it, the more hostile it's going to become. Trust me on this one, watch it now or it's only going to get worse for you.

CC: I'm starting to lose my shit.

Me: That's understandable.

CC: I guess you're right, though. I'll watch it, but I need a day or two first.

Me: Keep me posted?

CC: Sure. Thanks for the advice or whatever it was.

Me: Before you leave, is it ok if I post this?

CC: Do you ever get a thought you don't have to post on the internet?

Me: Not lately, no.

CC: Fine, whatever.

I smile

Me: I like the new look for my blog; it's dark but uplifting at the same time.

Her: Not unlike its author.

I don't care what anyone says. I'm hilarious

Me: Fuck him, he's spiteful. Ive been doing a lot of research lately and I think I've figured out why we are the way we are.

Her: Why?

Me: Because really, deep down we're just animals in clothes. But we're smart enough to fight our nature, even though we lose every time.

Her: That's true. But still...I mean really, come on it's not that hard to not be an ass.

Me: It is if deep down you're an asshole

I just had to share this with you.

I was talking to my friend Mike about working in Blockbuster, when I called him a "pissy cashier." This was his response.

"Talk about pissy cashier, I think you hold the record for being the pissiest bbuster of all time and u hold it three times in two states sir maybe even three cities, and one of the times you weren't even a cashier I recall these with u:

Davlin: how r u?
Customer:fine u?
Davlin: crappy blockbuster isn't paying me to be here.(from when they overpaid you and were retrying it) another situation

Davlin:you want this game on 360
kid: yeah I got two of them
Davlin: wow, that must be nice some of us cant even afford to eat."

Good stuff.

maxIM

Me: Do you know what I think one of the hardest parts of growing up is?


Her:what?


Me: When you're a kid, you have this entirely skewed images of the adults in your life. They all seem relatively happy, like they've got it all figured out. Then you grow up and you get to know them as people; instead of gods, monsters or authority figures. You see how flawed they are and come to realize nobody has ever really had it figured out. You see marriages you thought were solid end up being bitter charades. It's a tough thing to accept at first.


But when you do, you can also see the reasons for their actions. This helps you see them for the wonderful people they are, the sacrifices they made for you.


Then the mistakes don't seem so bad.


Her: If we only knew then what we know now! Acceptance is hard but it's the only way to be happy


Me: But if we had that knowledge then, we would have never been able to be children. Because in order to learn them, you have to lose your innocence. 

This is a text message I just sent a friend.

"I know it hurts, that it's hard on both of you. But don't let them poison the love you share. I'm a goddamn woman."

Great Moment on OK Cupid 3

girl: i cryalot

Meandering_Poet:it's ok to cry

girl:like now

Meandering_Poet:you're crying right now?

girl:yea

Meandering_Poet:why?

girl:cuz i want to do it right now

Meandering_Poet:you want to have sex? is that what you're saying?

girl:cutting

Meandering_Poet:oh thank god,i'm sorry, i didn't know where this was going

Great Moment on OK Cupid 2

Girl:He's so effin cute

Girl:makes me want babies...

Meandering_Poet:sorry, all these sirens just went off in my head

Great Moment on OK Cupid 1

Meandering_Poet: Trust me...there's no sympathy for the skinny.

Girl: haha yeah like i said, the grass is always greener.....

Meandering_Poet: No, the grass is always shaded, because the obese block out the sun. So, how are you?