Total Pageviews


I hate to admit this to you, but I've actually created a Twitter account. Don't look at me that way, it was bound to happen. Check it: @feelreleaseheal

I'm brainstorming ideas for an upcoming horror novel as well as starting a drastic rewrite of Scattered Thougths.

I'm about to start recording more of my words into MP3s for Bled Out Onto A Page. Which one am I going to start with? Good question, Reader, and the answer to it is up to you. My time in the mental hospital: Part 1 or To The Girl Who Taught Me The Art Of Letting Go? Choose wisely.

And, finally, thanks to Ana's help, there's a big surprise coming your way.

Talk to you soon,


An open letter to Justin Furstenfeld.


Your music has saved my life almost more times than I can count.

See, I was living near Dallas when "Calling you" hit local radio stations like a plague. I couldn't turn the dial without having that song shoved down my throat and it never received an honest listen. In fact, I had completely written off Blue October all together.

Well, until I saw you live.

I was at Edgefest 2004, when you came onstage and I heard the chorus for "Razorblade". You did this a capella and from the fucking heart. That's when the guitars kicked in and I became a fan. The song was everything I needed to hear at just the right moment.

A year later I was in a bad way. With the little money in my possession I bought History for Sale and it gave me the solace I was looking for. It was the only thing I listened to on a 28 hour bus ride to my new home in South Carolina.

I scoured the record stores in a desperate attempt to get some of your earlier work, but you guys were virtually unknown beyond the TX border. Then, I stumbled upon Argue with a tree and it remains the greatest live album I've ever heard. It inspired me to take some of the songs I'd written and try to get in a band with little to no success.

I was there for about another year when I found myself at the next life shattering event. It was also at this time when I heard all of the locals talking about this great new band, which of course, ending up being yours. I still can't describe the pride I felt when I saw the band's cutout and multiple rows saved for Foiled. You guys finally made it.

Soon, I was riding shotgun in my friend's car as I read the lyrics along with the tracks. Then, I heard your mom's voice mail on "Hate me" and I started crying like a little girl,yet unashamed. It sounded like the countless one's my mother has sent me. Again, you were there with just what I needed to hear.

When I was 22 I was on the way to my Mom's, because she was going to take me to a hospital so I could commit myself. It was due to many things, but it was the worst break up of my life which was the most apparent. My MP3 player chose that instant to play "HRSA" and I don't have to tell you how close to home that hit.

During my time there, I wasn't allowed to listen to my music and that was one of the only types of therapy that did me any good. I told a counselor this and, during my third group session she brought in a little boombox and hit play. She told us to draw a picture of our families. I worked diligently on mine with a glorious soundtrack of classical music. Suddenly, a familiar melody played softly through the speakers and I froze. A crayon fell from my hand as the lyrics of "Black Orchid" wrapped around me and I could no longer fight back the tears.

It was when I was released that I truly began exorcising my demons with the power of the written word. After several failed attempts at getting published I instead focused on performing my work at open mics. I ripped my heart open in front of strangers, growing more and more honest. See, it became my mission to help others as you had helped me.

That's why I created the website, to help reach out to others who feel utterly lost and alone. Your influence is proudly displayed on many of its pages.

I said earlier that you saved my life and I meant it. One of the only reasons I'm still here is due to the catharsis and inspiration Blue October is able to provide.

For that I can't thank you enough.


P.S. I now love "Calling You".


Tonight I watched the brilliant Swedish film, Let The Right One in, followed by it's soulless American rehash, Let Me In. Seeing the remake directly after the source material made me sad as a moviegoer and crestfallen as a wanna be film maker. Everyday I read the hottest movie gossip online and I've yet to see something which isn't a sequel, remake, reboot, parody, homage, rip-off, new spin on an already archaic premise or yet another license property. You know we're getting desperate when they're asking us for 11 bucks to see a goddamn Battleship flick. I see this and I get angry about not getting into film school because of finances.

In one year I've gotten around 4,600 hits on this blog and I'm thankful for every one of them. With my words I go dark places where most would ever fear to dread. Honesty is never easy to deal with. So, you can imagine my frustration when I see assclowns like The Situation selling 12,000 books and FUCKING Snooki at 9,000. Two individuals, and remember one calls himself the Situation and both of them are illiterate, have written books that other people have actually bought.

Wake the fuck up, America.

We are all getting dumber and it's nobody's fault but our own. The reason this shit is happening is because we refuse to do anything that makes us think. We won't read anything longer than a tweet. Until we show them we're ready for something new and dangerous, we're only going to get the same hackneyed things over and over again. We need a creative renaissance and it must be now.

If you are ready for something more meaningful, I want you to go to my site,, and explore it for just one hour. You can always go back to facebook afterward.