It's been a week and I've barely left this room. The walls close in a little more with each passing day. I've had a little contact with the outside world with the help of emails and social networks, but they do little to ease the pain.
I spend the days weeping and looking for employment, because financial obligations are a few of the things I've never really been able to escape. It all piles up and I'm not sure if I have the tools to dig myself out of this one. At eventide I scramble to set up the defenses to protect myself from the impending darkness which threatens to consume all that I have left.
When I'm trying to sleep I have a feeling deep within my bones which lets me know I'm not alone. He takes his perch at the foot of the bed and watches me with great interest. He smiles and I can hear the laughter in his voice as he repeats the things she said to me. Then he parrots some of the more destructive thoughts I've had lately.
"You're dying", he tells me.
I close my eyes and I see her. This is what he wants; for the wounds to reopen and the ebb to begin anew. The last nine months flash in as many seconds and it leaves me spent.
When I open them he's lying next to me, smiling so big his face splits. His giggling gets so loud it fills the room and I look at the clock. Four hours left until sunrise.
I'm running out of time.