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Showing posts with label Fiction. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Fiction. Show all posts

I'm done with cigarettes

After several excruciating years of waiting, we had finally gotten together and it was everything I'd ever dreamed it could be. Right off the bat, the electricity between us was filled with both complete understanding and raw sexual chemistry which became static on our tongues and fingertips.

For two marvelous months life was perfect and we wanted for nothing.

Those times however, were not meant to last. I was driving home one evening when I was rocked by a coughing fit so severe I had to pull over. I gripped the wheel with both of my hands as my chest continued to spasm and sent razor blades up my esophagus until blood sprayed my dashboard.

My old addiction finally came up to bite me in the ass and I was diagnosed with lung cancer. I'm a college student with no savings or insurance. The doctors haven't given me long.

I haven't been able to sleep much since then. I feel like I've got precious little time to waste on dreams, so I spend it watching as you do. At first I was so fucking angry with myself for happily killing myself this whole time and cutting our life together so short. I wasted an entire week in this state before I realized just how much time with you that was.

Now, I'm going to savor every single second until I run out. For some reason I know it's going to be ok, because at least I'll be facing it with you by my side. But, where does that leave you after I'm gone? You're the one who's really suffering here and I won't be able to comfort you for much longer.

I lay back down and blanket you in my arms. You nuzzle into my neck and smile. It makes me think about all the precious moments people take for granted, because they assume tomorrow is a promise.

Then I kiss your forehead and allow myself to dream.

Since that moment

"Are you ok?"

"Yeah, buddy. I'm ok."

"You're just sad?"

"Yeah...I'm just sad."

"It's going to be ok, daddy. I love you." Our four year old son says as he embraces me with tiny arms made of wire. He's been having to comfort me like this a lot lately and it breaks my heart a little more each time.

I feel as if I'm failing him and your memory. I pray and go to church like I'm supposed to. I go to work everyday and support our child. All day long I stay strong, because I have to. Every night I sleep on the couch, because our bed is too big and it reminds me of what's missing. I also found that every time I slept in it, there was a little bit less or your scent still clinging to the unwashed sheets.

I think I died with you on that day in November. I remember it was the worst storm I'd ever seen and the roads outside were treacherous. Jeremy had a fever and we needed to get him something to take it down. We were still such new parents back then and didn't plan ahead for this, which left us staring out into the storm wondering what to do.

"Listen," I told you, "The drug store is right down the street. I'll go and be right back. It won't take 10 minutes."

"Allen, you've never driven on roads like this. I have. Besides, we don't even know if the store is open. I'm going to go and you're not going to fight me on this." Your eyes narrowed to show me your mind had been made up. Then they softened as you told me, "I'll be right back. I love you." Then you kissed me on the cheek and I never saw you again.

My life stopped when I received the news. It feels like ever since then I've never been able to move passed that moment. It's all as raw and painful as it was back then. I keep watching the driveway expecting your car to pull in or waiting for a phone call which will never come.

I look at Jeremy and he's growing up so fast. He asks about you and I'm able to remember a little bit less each time I tell him. Everything about you is fading away from me except the agony of your absence.

Now, he's holding me. Wishing he could make his daddy smile, take all of my pain away so we can be happy together. But he can't. And for that I am so, so sorry.

Hypothetical

Her: Look, we both know how we feel about each other, but you went too far.

Me: I know, I wasn't thinking. What I did was an act of spontaneity that I wholeheartedly admit was irresponsible.

Her: Irresponsible? That's putting it pretty fucking mildly. He threw me out. I'm homeless now, Davlin. Do you understand what I'm saying?

Me: I do. You can make it through this. I can help you.

Her: I've just been dumped and put out on my ass, because of you. The last thing I want in the world right now is to be shacked up with you.

Me: Listen, I'll help you find and get a place. It's the least I can do. If you never want to see me again after that, I completely understand.

*Awkward silence*

Me: I thought this was what you wanted.

Her: No. This is what you wanted. I wanted to leave when I was ready, on my own terms. You told me you were willing to wait. What happened to that?

Me: I was willing. I just wasn't able.

Her: I thought you were different.

Me: I am.

Her: Yeah, you're worse. You've fucked me over pretty bad on this one. I'm not sure I'm going to be able to get passed it. I think it's best if we don't talk anymore.

Me: You can't mean...

Her: Goodbye, Davlin

Me: WAIT!

*click*

Me: FUCK!

Mafioso's Requiem

Just one more job. That's all I have to do before they let my brother go and we can put this whole thing behind us. There are three outcomes that can happen; either I'll be gunned down in the streets, my boss will do me in after I've completed my mission, or I'll actually get the happy ending. Either way, it all ends tonight.

The taste of Natalie and Grey Goose still linger on my lips and I wish I could keep them there forever. I switch the radio to an old jazz station as I take the on-ramp to I-90. The traffic is all but non-existent due to the early morning hour. This is when New Haven always looks the best to me; under a curtain of blackness and abandoned by all the people that make city living so unbearable to begin with. 20 minutes from my destination and I start to get anxious.

Over the last six months I've done some horrible things and not only enjoyed doing them, but profited off them as well. Hijacking a school bus to hold a rival drug lord's kid hostage bought my fancy loft uptown. And that's just one of the things I'm willing to admit to. I'm not even going to tell you what I had to do to pay for the car I'm driving right now.

Little beads of sweat start to fall down my forehead and sting when they land in my eyes. My nerves are completely shot. The soft music is doing nothing to calm me down, so I roll down the window to allow the warm summer breeze to wash away all these ill feelings. 10 minutes away now.

My breathing grows shallow as I take my exit. OK, I can do this. I HAVE done this. All I have to do is kill one man, that's all. It's no big deal.

Christ, listen to me...this used to sicken me. What have I become? With each squeeze of the trigger I've lost more and more of my humanity until I'm left cold, soulless. Will I even be able to go back to a regular life after this?

I pull up across the street of a nightclub that's owned by my target, put the vehicle in park and shut off the engine. Nothing left now but to wait. I could feel the cold steel of the 9.millimeter under my coat and it gave me some relief. After 45 minutes pass he comes out of the club. He's got two bodyguards with him. Alright...let's do this.

I step out of my car and reach into my over coat. I aim for the guard on the left and his brains rain out behind him before they even know I'm coming. My target's eyes go wide and he runs for his car that's been parked out on the street. I hear a slight whistle as a bullet misses my ear by centimeters. A second plugs me in the right shoulder and a third clips my left knee. I go down.

I'm laying in a growing pool of warm blood. The guard is laughing as he walks in my direction. I pick my up my gun and scream in pain as I raise it towards him. I aim for a gut shot but I'm a little off. It hits him in the groin, instead. He crashes to the ground and starts crying in the street. This makes me smile. I'll let him live.

I reach into my pocket and pull out a bottle of pills and take three. I automatically feel the effects as I get to my feet. My target is still standing outside of his car. One of his men has the keys. Due to lack of options, he starts to run. I hop in my car and take pursuit. He doesn't get too far, about a block or so, before I'm right behind him. At the last second he dives for the sidewalk and I only clip his legs. I can hear the sound of them shattering over the engine.

I stop the car and I hear the sirens as I step out. I walk over to him, he's already given up trying to crawl away, and kick him onto his back because I've grown fond of being the last thing people see. He starts to beg for his life and I put one between his eyes, cutting off his spiel.

A gasp brings my attention upward. Two hookers are staring at me with their mouths wide open. I feed them each a bullet to make sure this little scene stays our secret forever.

The job finished, I climb back in my car just in time to see 2 cruisers in the rear view mirror. I crank the engine, put it in drive and speed off. In my haste I forget to buckle my seat belt, which will only add to the ever growing list of offenses. My car jerks to the left as one of the cops tries to side swipe me from the driver side. I grab my gun, stick it out the window and unload until it runs dry before replacing it in my coat. In the rear view I can see their windshield explode and the cruiser crashes into a huge display window of a thrift shop.

The one on my right becomes more aggressive and starts to plug holes into my car's frame. I jerk the wheel in his direction and his cruiser gets pushed inches away from the curb. He's looking at me and yelling and if he was paying more attention, he'd have seen the pickup that was parked on the street in front of him. One second he's right beside me and a sound of impact precedes his disappearance.

I crank my neck back and watch in disbelief . I see the two vehicles have become one and I start to laugh. "Oh, my god! Ha ha! I'm gonna make it! I'm gonna..."

.....

I wake up in the street and it hurts to move. I cough into my hand and pull it back to reveal bloody mucous. Four shattered ribs, a collapsed lung, fractured skull and god knows what else. I take the bottle from my pocket and take the last four. I stand up, brush the glass out of my hair and try to piece together what happened.

Apparently, while looking behind me I didn't see the telephone pole. The impact threw me about 25 feet from the windshield. It would have been more had I not smacked that mailbox. I can actually see the indention of my skull where it collided with its side. Cool.

A bright light shines over me and stabs daggers into my eyes. I look up and stare at the helicopter hovering above me. I can't hear the rotors. I've gone deaf. I pull the gun from my coat and run into a nearby alley.

I don't realize it's a dead end until three cop cars have already blocked off my only way out. I eject the empty clip and look up with blurry vision. Ten officers have their weapons drawn and they're shouting words that I'll never get to hear.

I slam my last clip into the gun, look up at them and smile. One way or another...it all ends tonight.

A Transient Affair (A work of fiction)

I wake up disoriented in a dark room that I don't recognize. I try to assess the surroundings as my eyes adjust to the blackness. I hear quiet breathing coming from a girl lying on the bed next to me. Her blond hair, a stark contrast to the gloom, accentuates her features. God, she's pretty. I wish I could remember her name. I know she told me, but I couldn't hear half of our conversation over the raucous music in the club. I realize that I don't know any of the information that should be established long before you become intimate with another person. Sudenly, all that required knowledge is reduced to nothing more than mere afterthoughts.

I find my mind wondering about her. What's she really like? Is she smart, funny, honest? Does she do this kind of thing all the time? I know that this is my first one night stand, but is it a part of her routine? What's she going to think about all this in the morning? Will she feel cheap and used, or rush me out without even giving me the courtesy of an awkward kiss goodbye? I want to hold her, but I'm not even sure about the rules on that. Christ, when did everything get so complicated?

I glance over to the nightstand that's on my side of the bed and look at the plaque that's resting on the top. It's made out of clay, with two little handprints under the word "Mommy". This girl is somebody's mother. I feel even worse about this whole thing.

I sit up, throw on my jeans and walk out onto her patio hoping that the crisp September air will help to clear my head. It doesn't. The skyline shines brightly like a beacon over all it's denizens that are sleeping next to loved ones, strangers, or alone altogether. In my head I try to justify the events that lead me to the now, which only makes me feel worse about it all. Trying to blame it on the alchohol would just cheapen it even more, rob it of the passion that would make it seem somehow more acceptable. I don't know...

Is this what we've all been reduced to? Seeking solace in the arms of stranges just so we can throw them aside in the morning because we're all afraid to get attached? I don't understand how the people that do this every weekend live with themselves. I look back and watch her sleep through the window. I haven't got a clue what the morning will bring to us. Will we see each other again? Will this turn into something meaningful, or will we just try to force it so that we can feel better about it all and save face? I open the sliding glass door and enter the room, knowing that all these questions will be answered in time.

HSH Excerpt-Enjoy!

INT. DINER - AFTERNOON

The camera is sitting in one end of a booth. Right across are Kahleb and Katy. they are sitting rather close and appear completely comfortable with each other. They sit talking quietly.

KATY
(Concerned)
Where do you think Richie is? He was supposed to meet us here half an hour ago. It's weird, he's never late.

KAHLEB
Yeah, I know. He went to the bathroom after first, but he's been a ghost ever since. I hope nothing happened to him

KATY
(Angry now)
I swear, if those assholes jumped him again.

KAHLEB
(Trying to calm her down)
I'm sure he's ok. Probably just lost track of time. But listen. Since we're alone there's something I wanna talk to you about.

KATY
Ok, what's up?

We can see Richie approaching in the background. His face is red and there is blood on the neck of his shirt. The camera swings around to give us a view of both sides of the booth.

KAHLEB
We've been friends forever and-

Richie plops down in the empty side of the booth, and lays across it. His elbow is resting on the table, head in hand. Kahleb and Katy are now sitting a considerable distance away from each other.

RICHIE
(Devoid of emotion)
Hey guys.

KATY
(Sees the blood on Richie's shirt)
Jesus, what the hell happened?

RICHIE
It's been a really bad day.

KAHLEB
They jump you again?

RICHIE
Yeah, and it was one of the highlights.

KATY
What do you mean?

RICHIE
I've seen things.

KAHLEB
What kind of things?

RICHIE
Terrible things. Stuff no one should ever have to see.

KATY
Care to elaborate?

Richie stares at her blankly for a few seconds. He opens his mouth, but then shuts it before any words come out. He sits up and looks at his friends.

RICHIE
Fuck. I don't even know if I can say it. I don't think you can handle the burden of my newfound knowledge.

KAHLEB
(Grows impatient)
Just tell us already!

RICHIE
All right. But I warned you.
(Takes a deep breath)
I caught Chase humping another guy in the bathroom after first period.

KATY
I fucking knew it!

KAHLEB
(In unison with Katy)
Bullshit.

RICHIE
It's the truth man.

KATY
(Very excited at this recent development)
Tell me everything!

KAHLEB
Why do you want to know the details?

KATY
Morbid curiousity, just shut up.
(To Richie)
Now, continue.

RICHIE
Well, I went to the bathroom after first. While I was pissing I heard noises coming from one of the stalls.

KATY
(Fully immersed in the story)
What kind of noises?

RICHIE
They were just noises ok? Can't we just leave it at that?

KATY
Ok, fine. Go on.

RICHIE
I was just gonna let it go, walk out, and go to class. But that's when I heard Chase speak.

KAHLEB
(Now into the story as well)
What'd he say?

RICHIE
(Flustered)
I'm not gonna repeat it! It was pretty graphic, though. And you know me, never one to miss out on such a golden opportunity. I kicked the door in.

KATY
(Squeals with glee)
YOU DIDN'T!

RICHIE
I did. And there he was with Marcus, giving him all he had.

KAHLEB
Who?

RICHIE
Marcus. You know, the feminine guy that works at hot topic.

KAHLEB
(With excitement)
OH
(Voice lower now that the picture is in his head)
Oh.
(Shudders)
Ewww.

KATY
(Laughs)
That must have been quite the sight.

RICHIE
Yeah, still burned into my fuckin retinas.

KAHLEB
So what happened after that?

RICHIE
Well, Marcus ran out with his pants around his ankles. Then Chase punched me in the stomach and said that if i told anyone he'd kick my ass.

KAHLEB
Just kick right? Nothing else?

RICHIE
(Laughs)
That's exactly what I asked him.

KATY
That's priceless. I called it, too. I knew he had something to hide.

KAHLEB
(Desperate to change the subject)
So where've you been all day?

RICHIE
I didn't exactly feel like going to class in my traumatized state, so I just took the day off and went to the movies.

KAHLEB
(In shock)
You...skipped class?

RICHIE
Yeah, my parents are gonna kill me.

KATY
Wait, so why's your shirt bloody? You said Chase hit you in the stomach.

Richie goes quiet. He is looking down at the table, his hands cupped together.

RICHIE
That happened later. I realized that I forgot something in my locker, so I went back to school to get it. That's when Christian caught up with me. You can fill in those blanks yourself.

KAHLEB
You gonna be alright man?

RICHIE
Yeah, i just...

Richie buries his head into his hands and begins to sobs. Katy exits her booth and takes the seat next to Richie. The Camera swings behind Kahleb to give us a better shot of the other two. Katy puts her arm around Richie, and he rests his head on her shoulder.

RICHIE
(Crying)
I just wish they'd stop.