Words

I'm sitting in my car smoking a cigarette with a shaky hand as I wait for the light to change. The heater's busted. That, mixed with a temperature of 32 degrees, makes for a very long drive home. The cold cuts through my jeans and flesh, until it finds the bone. It stays there. I decide that the smoke isn't worth it, and flick it out the window before rolling it up.

The radio is turned up loud, and it almost drowns out the voices in my head. Hollywood Undead has been making me feel enraged lately, so I switch it out with the quieter angst of Brand New. My teeth chatter as I let the weight of their lyrics sink in. It makes me hope that some day my words can mean as much to someone else, as theirs do to me.

This makes me wonder why I started writing to begin with. It started out with an image in my head when I was seventeen. I was staring in the mirror, but the face looking back at me was much, much younger. It looked at me with a look of disgust at what I had let myself grow into. That birthed the song "A Time of Innocence". It was simply me wanting to get back to that point where the world was still wide open, and I was still pure. Every time I look in the mirror I still see the little boy with the same expression, and Ihope that some day I can make him proud.

I started letting people read it, and they all gave me positive feedback. This in turn fueled my ego, and I was filled with the desire to get more of those accolades. I ended up pouring more and more of myself out onto the page, which stirred up unexpected emotional responses. I realized then what an impact you can have on someone using just your words.

I haven't learned much during my short time on this planet, but I have discovered one undeniable truth. If you take nothing from anything you've read here, please consider this. Words can save your life. They are the only reason I am still alive today. Whether they came from song lyrics, a book, movie quotes, or just an encouraging sentiment from a loved one. All of these things can help to heal your wounds, because they make you realize that, no matter what, you're not alone in this world. Words bind us. They connect us. I think it's important to read, which is something not nearly enough people do nowadays. Listen to new music. Actually listen to it and take in the lyrics. Watch movies that make you think. Form your own opinions, and then express them. One of the most important things we can do in this world is write. Even if it's stupid little blogs that hardly anyone will read. At least you're getting the negative out in a cathartic way.

One of the biggest fears I have in this life is to be completely forgotten. I have felt it many times on a smaller level, and it really hurts. None of us are going to be here forever. I want to leave something behind. I want to be remembered for something, even if it is just a few words bled out onto a page.