They took me to their place, a run down motel deep in the Bottoms. When I asked Uriel why they didn't pick a better neighborhood, he told me that they were more needed in places like this. By all reasonable accounts of logic I should be freaking out right now; jumping at the door and making my escape. But I'm not. I've been missing for almost sixteen hours now, my wife and everyone else on the force are probably going crazy wondering where the hell I am. That should bother me. I find myself more at peace than I've ever been before. Being around them does that to you. This must be what the faithful feel every Sunday in church.
We got to their rooms just before the sun rose. I had a shower and borrowed some of Michael's clothes and crashed until late in the evening. I stretched before going out on the patio to watch the sun set over the Columbus skyline. Gabriel joined me a few minutes later, carrying two beers.
“Hey, want one?” He asks, offering the one in his right hand.
“I didn't think you were allowed to drink.”
“Why would you think that?”
“Well, you're a creature of God aren't you?”
“Yeah, but so are you. And you guys are into all sorts of heinous shit.”
“Never thought of it like that.”
“The thing that you need to keep in mind, is that most of the rules the bible and modern churches follow were written by men, and we know how that usually turns out. Listen, you want to know what the real golden rules are? The best ways to get home?”
“It would make things a lot easier.”
“With the exception of taking his name in vain, Father doesn't really care about what language you use. They're just words. He also understands what it's like being in your bodies, he designed them after all, so he knows that you have urges and all that. Premarital sex doesn't bother him so much as long as there is love involved and you're not whoring yourself out for ham sandwiches. But the most important things to keep in mind are to love Him with all your heart and try to help more people than you fuck over.”
“That's it?”
“That's it.”
“Huh...So what about you guys then? You don't seem a whole lot different from us.”
“Well, I'm not. As far as personality is concerned. We were kind of like His practice dummies, his trial runs before He stopped with humans.”
“What do you mean?” I ask him as I take a swig.
“Uriel was the first being Father created, and was done so without a lot of major emotions,”
“I've noticed that.”
“He can feel love for our Father and, to a very small extent, every other creature. He was made this way so that he wouldn't get distracted from his devotion to Him. He was made just to serve. As more and more of us were created, Father became increasingly lax and we evolved as a result. I'm the second youngest. That's why I am the way that I am.”
“And who is the youngest.” This question makes him close his eyes and his face contorts with pain.
“The Morning Star.”
I change the subject. “So then what are you doing on Earth? Don't you belong in Heaven?”
“Technically, angels don't belong anywhere. We can go where we want. So can demons. There are hundreds of them on Earth getting into all sorts of shenanigans. That's where we come in.”
“So, you're like some divine police officer.”
He chuckles. “I like to think of us as a combination of Men in Black and Constantine, personally. We'll spend a few weeks in a town, patrolling every night, move on and start it all over again.”
“How long have you been doing this?”
“What's this, June?” He starts counting on his fingers. “1,700 years, 6 months, 14 weeks, and nine days. Wow...I need a fuckin vacation.”
“So, are you going to take me with you tonight when you guys go out?”
“No, it's too dangerous for you. Uriel is going to stay here tonight. But, listen...” He reaches behind him and pulls a dagger out of his boot. It's about 8 inches in length and there are funny stains on the silver blade. Everything else about it is unremarkable. “There is going to be a time when you're going to have to fight. It's inevitable now. This will give you a chance.”
“Thanks.” I just sit and stare at it, unable to shake a sudden ominous feeling.
“Ok, I have a question for you now.”
“Shoot.”
“Um...” He starts to blush, like he's too embarrassed to ask it. “What's sex like?”
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