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First Impressions

When it comes to dating (or the start of any new relationship), first impressions can either be the perfect foundation to building something amazing, or can burn down that bridge and piss over the ashes.

I have been known to make some some very good ones, but they are never as spectacular as my failures. Here's a few of my favorites. Oh, and if you're the type of girl who gets angry just reading about an ex, you can just go ahead and fuck right off. You and me? Yeah, we're not gonna work.

The way I met one of my ex's mother, was when she walked in on her daughter and I mid coitus. I had to stand up and introduce myself to her, naked. Good times.

This is the first thing I said to a girl, who I started dating less than 24 hours later.

Her: (Looks around) Cool, I used to live at that apartment right down there. (She points in a direction and my eyes don't follow)

Me: Really? Because I live right here! (I point behind me) Small fucking world, huh! (big gasp of exaggerated excitement)

She later told me she thought I was the biggest asshole she'd ever met, but was completely wrong.

That's because first impressions don't always give you the best, or worst, representation of the other person. Just something to keep in mind while out in the trenches.

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