I want my childhood back

I have a confession...

I, Davlin Stewart, am a shameless nerd.

Most of the things I get passionate about aren't the hippest of topics to bring up in bar conversations. For example, one of the most heartbreaking experiences of my childhood was reading X-men #25 and seeing Wolverine get the adamantium ripped from his skeleton through his pores at the hands of Magneto. Seeing him face a world full of bitter enemies without the near invincibility given to him by his healing factor or unbreakable skeleton showed me a lot about inner strength and it still inspires me to this day. I take this shit a little too seriously.

Growing up, I would watch the cartoons, read the comic books and even wear the fucking X-Men underoos. The one thing I always wanted to see was my favorite character popping his claws on the big screen. Some years down the line, I finally got my wish.

Kind of.

In actuality, what I got was a watered down version featuring characters who were more two dimensional than those found on the page and also sported biker fetish gear. Everything about it was just wrong.

Now, here's what I don't get; the characters have already been developed, there are countless stories that could easily be faithfully translated into film AND yet they still managed to fuck it up. It doesn't make any sense to me. Why change so much that you lose everything that made the property great to begin with?

Because apparently that's the kind of shit you like, mainstream fans.

Last year was a rough one, what with the abomination that was X-Men Origins. I couldn't escape it, because that shit was everywhere. 711 had posters for the flick at the gas pumps. Now, it takes me ten minutes to fill my car up, because my gas tank is fucked off. This means a couple of times a week I would have to stand for ten minutes at a time and stare at Hugh Jackman as he made a mockery of my youth. Don't even get me started on Deadpool. Since it came out, I've seen it one and a half times and it deeply sickens me. I actually enjoyed the new Star Trek movie over the Wolverine one? How is that possible? There's only one explanation, really.

It's the end of times.

And now it's going to happen again, because tomorrow I will have to sit and watch as my other favorite childhood obsession will get a reboot that I still don't feel is necessary. I'm going to write more in detail before and after I see the film tomorrow and Saturday. But, I will say that I've read some of the reviews from the sites I trust and I gotta be honest...I'm terrified and not in the way I want from Nightmare on Elm Street.

Please, Platinum Dunes...don't take this one from me, too.