When I decided to write you, I didn’t know what it was I wanted to say. Even now I’m not sure what words will flow from this pen by the time we reach this letter’s end. Let’s just see where it takes us.
I do know that I wanted to tell you how much I miss you. To tell you how your absence has left a very important part of me empty. I fill your side of the bed with clothes so the empty space doesn’t feel like a chasm, seducing me into a fall that will never end.
I was going to let you know I still haven’t forgiven you. Every single day I hate you a little more and the hatred is wrapped into a painful ball inside my stomach. Now I can’t eat, sleep or anything else because all I see is your face and it serves as a constant fucking reminder of what you did.
You should also know that everything in my life is going great. I’ve met someone else who is everything I had made you out to be. I go out every night, surrounded by friends and family and I never feel that familiar ache of loneliness.
But not a single word of any of that is true.
I hardly ever think about you or us anymore. My life is a lot better and easier without you in it. That wasn’t supposed to come off as harsh as it sounded.
I’ve put our past behind me and forgiven you (and myself) for everything. I’m not going to hate you anymore, because to say that I do would give some sort of implication that you still mean something to me…but you don’t. Every day your scent grows fainter and your face more blurry.
It’d be pathetic to tell you that everything in my life is amazing when it’s not, strictly with the intention of hurting you. I’m still single, but I’m OK with it. Honestly, I stay in a by myself more often than not. I do still feel alone, but it’s different because it lacks the razor’s edge. Sorry, I know I shouldn’t have brought up that last part.
While things are nowhere close to perfect, I’m discovering happiness for the first time in my life. I hope you are doing the same. And that, love, is the truth.
Without a single regret,
Davlin
I do know that I wanted to tell you how much I miss you. To tell you how your absence has left a very important part of me empty. I fill your side of the bed with clothes so the empty space doesn’t feel like a chasm, seducing me into a fall that will never end.
I was going to let you know I still haven’t forgiven you. Every single day I hate you a little more and the hatred is wrapped into a painful ball inside my stomach. Now I can’t eat, sleep or anything else because all I see is your face and it serves as a constant fucking reminder of what you did.
You should also know that everything in my life is going great. I’ve met someone else who is everything I had made you out to be. I go out every night, surrounded by friends and family and I never feel that familiar ache of loneliness.
But not a single word of any of that is true.
I hardly ever think about you or us anymore. My life is a lot better and easier without you in it. That wasn’t supposed to come off as harsh as it sounded.
I’ve put our past behind me and forgiven you (and myself) for everything. I’m not going to hate you anymore, because to say that I do would give some sort of implication that you still mean something to me…but you don’t. Every day your scent grows fainter and your face more blurry.
It’d be pathetic to tell you that everything in my life is amazing when it’s not, strictly with the intention of hurting you. I’m still single, but I’m OK with it. Honestly, I stay in a by myself more often than not. I do still feel alone, but it’s different because it lacks the razor’s edge. Sorry, I know I shouldn’t have brought up that last part.
While things are nowhere close to perfect, I’m discovering happiness for the first time in my life. I hope you are doing the same. And that, love, is the truth.
Without a single regret,
Davlin
You know.. I almost shed a tear. That was beautifuly done.
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