When I moved into my new apartment I found all my journals which had my earliest writings. Some of these have held up pretty well, others not so much. I wrote this one when I was 20. Enjoy!
Best Of Luck
You said,
"Ben let's take a walk,
There's a lot goin' on,
I think we need to have a talk."
So we come,
To a bench in the park,
That overlooks the lake,
Ben here before but now,
Your lips quiver and your hands start to shake.
As you tell me it's over...
But you still wanna be friends.
Chorus:
Well best of luck to you,
In everything you do.
And for what it's worth,
I hope you find what you're looking for.
So you'll go your way,
and I will go mine.
I'll lie to myself everyday,
By sayin' that I'm fine.
End Chorus:
Is it worth it,
tryin to be your friend?
Or should I just count my losses,
And allow these wounds to mend?
I won't be blown off,
or sit through anymore of your lies.
I won't stick around,
as you start dating other guys.
Chorus: 1x
Pain gets worse,
as weeks and months go by.
The more I think about it,
I just wish that you would die.
Cos you can't hurt me,
if you don't exist.
Fuck it, it doesn't matter,
I'm over it.
Chorus: 1x
End Song.
The Last Song
The Last Song
As I look back,
at the city I’ve left-behind.
A year ago,
Our fingers were intertwined.
You used to look at me,
With love in your eyes.
Now I watch the life I’d led,
As it withers and dies.
Hopefully I’m movin onto,
bigger and better things.
And when I come back,
you won’t even recognize me.
Chorus 1:
But I believe it’s gotta get worse,
before it gets better.
There’s gotta be a rainstorm,
before the sunny weather.
I’ve grown up,
seen the error of my ways.
I’ve moved on,
while mourning the loss of the good ol’ days.
But there’s no point,
Stressing over things,
that you can’t change.
End Chorus 1:
I gained a scar,
for every lesson I have learned.
A trail of black smoke,
emits from all the bridges I have burned.
I'm on a bus headin,
For the east coast.
When I arrive I’ll raise my glass,
To those I’ll miss the most.
But any chance of a decent future,
Is fadin fast.
Unless of course I can,
Finally bid farewell to my past.
Chorus 1x:
I walk alone now,
got nowhere to call my home now.
If given the chance would I,
have thrown this all away?
Cuz I’m lost,
and I’m confused.
I’ve been emotionally abused,
and I will fight this to the death,
because I’ve got nothing left to lose.
So this is gonna be,
the last song,
I’ll ever write about you.
Just keep me in your prayers,
cuz mine don’t seem to be getting through,
getting through.
End.
As I look back,
at the city I’ve left-behind.
A year ago,
Our fingers were intertwined.
You used to look at me,
With love in your eyes.
Now I watch the life I’d led,
As it withers and dies.
Hopefully I’m movin onto,
bigger and better things.
And when I come back,
you won’t even recognize me.
Chorus 1:
But I believe it’s gotta get worse,
before it gets better.
There’s gotta be a rainstorm,
before the sunny weather.
I’ve grown up,
seen the error of my ways.
I’ve moved on,
while mourning the loss of the good ol’ days.
But there’s no point,
Stressing over things,
that you can’t change.
End Chorus 1:
I gained a scar,
for every lesson I have learned.
A trail of black smoke,
emits from all the bridges I have burned.
I'm on a bus headin,
For the east coast.
When I arrive I’ll raise my glass,
To those I’ll miss the most.
But any chance of a decent future,
Is fadin fast.
Unless of course I can,
Finally bid farewell to my past.
Chorus 1x:
I walk alone now,
got nowhere to call my home now.
If given the chance would I,
have thrown this all away?
Cuz I’m lost,
and I’m confused.
I’ve been emotionally abused,
and I will fight this to the death,
because I’ve got nothing left to lose.
So this is gonna be,
the last song,
I’ll ever write about you.
Just keep me in your prayers,
cuz mine don’t seem to be getting through,
getting through.
End.
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